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I’ve been tagged!! There’s a 100-word short story at the end (not 99, not 101, but 100 words exactly)

by Reinette58 @ 2008-06-14 - 00:05:25

The Rules:

Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged.

1. What I was doing 10 years ago:

Enjoying being a stay-home Mum, attending my writing and poetry groups and just starting to get published. Gearing up to re-enter the workforce and making the transition from laboratory work to administration, better for the family.

And so began the drought – 10 years of wordlessness, just work-work-work and no writing. Was miserable, hated being earthbound. Started writing again two months ago when my husband’s hours changed, giving me some me-time for the first time in years - picking up where I left off and making lots of lovely writing friends all over the world through my blog.

2. What five things are on on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

1) Get up at six, have quick shower and breakfast and check what emails and blog replies have come through from my UK and USA friends overnight.
2) Do the work of two in my clinic manager/medical typist/Director’s Support/general dogsbody job because we're so short-staffed.
3) Do the usual mumsy things – pick up son from school and take him to football training, cook dinner, do dishes and laundry, pay bills, feed parrots and scrub cages.
4) 9.00 to midnight – Yay!! Internet time – husband no longer hogging modem for work so can check blogs, emails and play with my new global Facebook Doctor Who group (30 new members in a week!!)and network with friends all over the world – research first novel - throw something together for this writers’ challenge!!
5) Midnight-ish – Try to get some sleep and consider cloning myself.

3. Snacks I enjoy:

Crisps
Chocolate/sweets
Peanuts
Cheesecake
Icecream
(Mmm, must remember to fill that script for my cholesterol medication)

4. Things I would do if I was a billionaire:

Pay off mortgage
Buy houses for all family members (happy to keep my own little house, love it)
Visit relatives I’ve never met in Hungary, Yugoslavia, Romania and Germany
Write full-time

5. Places I have lived:

Australia

I tag the following:

the-real-linda
jenray
prydwen
playwrite27


And now for the very short story (100 words, not one word more or less)

Another funeral. Another eulogy. Déjà vu.

Rain beat a listless tattoo on the roof of her car. Different to Dad’s send-off, standing room only there. Two vehicles in the car-park today, hers and a green Porsche 911, she wondered who the moneybags was.

Bracing herself, she made a dash to the chapel, but slipped and crashed to the ground. She was dazed, but strong arms were lifting her and whisking her to shelter.

Jake!! Where had this wonderful man been five years ago? Her body tensed.

Time to bury her partner and his vile alcoholic memories, once and for all.


 
 

Hello, Mr BBC, there are Doctor Who fans in Australia too!!

by Reinette58 @ 2008-06-01 - 21:09:25

How lucky to be living in the UK, so close to the action. Here in Australia, we’d had all three series, but alas new Who is still a well-kept secret. Most people still associate the show with the scarf-wearing, curly haired Tom Baker and the not-so-special effects of the day.

A co-worker entered the tearoom the other day, bemoaning the fact that some of her customers simply weren’t human. Before I could curb my tongue, I launched into an enthusiastic dissertation on Slitheen, skin suits, Raxacoricofallapatorius and planetary annihilation, only to be greeted with slack-jawed, pitying stares.

Strange girl, that Reinette, with her TARDIS key-ring.

Poor ignorant souls, never to have experienced the bliss of a crash-bang-wallop, CGI-laden Russell T Davies finale! And no one’s even heard of the shiny, new and most aesthetically-pleasing David Tennant! The UK and States are half-way through Series 4, while we in Oz haven’t even had Voyage of the Damned yet. I know I could peek at on-line spoilers, but would prefer to wait for quality pix on TV.

Have other Aussies noticed this sad lack of acknowledgment of new Whoness? If so, please feel free to come and vent with me on my new Facebook Group - "Hello, Mr BBC, there are Doctor Who fans in Australia too!!" Would welcome your feedback as to what you want this site to be.

AND PLEASE NOTE - OVERSEAS WHOVIANS ARE MOST WELCOME TO JOIN, THE MORE THE MERRIER!!

http://www.facebook.com/groups.php?ref=sb#/group.php?gid=19994313065

Note: You need to be registered on Facebook to access this site.

And just to round off a lovely relaxing rainy weekend, here's a quick Doctor Who quote.

DW20052x00Christmas00149
DW20052x00Christmas00136

Jackie Tyler (Rose's Mum): What do you mean, he's got two hearts? Don't be stupid!! Anything else he's got two of?

Credit for images to doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - The Christmas Invasion, Series 2

Er, thought she was going to have a break from blogging 'cos she was so tired. And now she's gone and set up ANOTHER website!! Sheesh, hyperactive thing, couldn't be calm if she tried.

TTFN

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-31 - 17:44:15

Taking short break from writing and blogsite. Typical Aries, go overboard with new hobbies, then fall in a heap exhausted. Up till midnight each night for past month on top of family commitments and horrendously mega-busy work schedule. Earthbound, too tired for words to come through.

Going to share some silly jokes with Facebook friends for a while. Probably go over-the-top with that too. So funny, there was a Haiku Zoo application with virtual interactive pets that change moods when you feed or pet them.

Couldn’t resist ‘Doctor Who’-ifying my twin peach-face parrots. Accessorised them with space-helmets and had them nesting in David Tennant’s hair.

No wonder I get odd looks at work from the earthbound. Oh well, at least my imaginary friends like me.

Cheers, back soon  :D

The Guardians Three

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-30 - 23:49:07

Call me mad, but I swear there was a presence in the house when my son was a baby, 12 years ago. The jug kept switching itself off at the wall. Short term memory loss from chronic sleep deficit? (I'm an awful insomniac, need a mallet to keep me asleep for longer than an hour, function on five or six hours of very broken sleep). Who knows, but it was the inspiration for this poem.

FYI, XXXXX is my real name - want to maintain anonymity for now.

Bedtime for babes. It’s a quarter to nine.
His eyelids are heavy. Now, that’s a good sign.
With a stretch and a yawn, Lexy settles for the night
Clutching Teddy’s ear with all of his might.

I gaze at his wise little face in repose.
I ponder his future, my anxiety grows.
What will the world be like, twenty years hence?
Will leaders and presidents finally make sense?

Will we be on the brink of a nuclear war?
Will the enemy come to break down the door?
Will his family be safe? Will his children be free?
I wonder what Lexy’s profession will be.

Poet, priest, plumber or learned physician?
Movie-star, scientist, famous magician?
Engineer, fireman, skilled steeple-chaser?
Nobel Prize winner or brave downhill racer?

Then, a little voice whispers, “Live in the now!
To quote young Bart Simpson: ‘Don’t have a cow!’
The past is behind you, tomorrow’s unborn.
Loosen up, girl, when you’re dead, you can mourn!”

Breathless, I look to the foot of the bed
Where stands an ethereal, yet feisty, redhead.
I know her from yellowing snapshots I’ve seen
In family albums. What can this mean?

Shivers course up and down my spine.
My face is tingling with energy, sublime.
Yet, such a sense of peace I feel
Despite this atmosphere, surreal.

“My Lord, Grandma Mona, is that really you?”
I timidly venture. “Can it be true?
You died years ago. We never met at all
before I wed Tony and became XXXXX”

She smiles and nods in affirmation,
Then touches my face. What an eerie sensation!
“We’re watching your family from Heaven above.
Great-grandfather Alex sends you his love.

He drinks and plays cards with John Wayne every night.
On weekends, he teaches Marciano to fight.
‘Tween Marilyn and Harlow, he simply can’t choose.
The Stooges and Chaplin keep him amused.”

She grins and continues, “Uncle Terry is well.
At Bacchus’ parties, he wreaks merry hell.
He conjures up hurricanes, earthquakes and floods.
He loves to pick fights with those soused demigods!”

She places a finger on Lexy’s right cheek.
He stirs for a moment, then takes a small peek.
A minute to midnight! The mystery grows!
Upon his white pillow, she lays a red rose.

“‘Defender of men’ is my young Alexander.
You couldn’t have wished for a name any grander.
Yet Daddy insists you’re a 'wee salamander'.
He’s clearly possessed of rare wit and candour.

You entered this world a year ago today
On a cold Wednesday night - the 15th of May,
Weighing six pound fifteen, born at six forty-one
To proud Mum and Dad. What a fine, strapping son!

‘It’s a boy! It’s a boy!’ everyone yelled.
To your poor, tired mother, they said, ‘You did well!’
Although you were born two weeks premature,
Your soul is perfection, it’s loving and pure.”

Suddenly, she glances up to the sky,
“My dear, I must leave you, I really must fly.
Please, go see a movie once in a while!
Put on some make-up, remember to smile!

“Tell man of mine, Clive, to get on with his life
And younger son, Ross, to stay out of strife
And get that boy, Tony, to take you out dancing.
You surely do look like you need some romancing!

“Sweet Grandson, be whatever you like,
Only stay out of debt and never hitch-hike!
Were I a white witch, I’d grant these wishes three:
Happiness, Health and Prosperity.”

Mona smiles, then fades completely from view.
Her aura remains - a pale shimmering blue.
How tranquil I feel, but incredibly tired
And emotionally drained from all that’s transpired.

Having slept and snored through most of the night,
Tony enters the room and gives me a fright:
“Come and have breakfast, oh love of my life.
Would you like cereal, my lady, my wife?”

I start to tell of the strange visitation.
“You must’ve been dreaming,” is his negative summation.
“I’ll make us some coffee and boil up the jug.
Go feed the baby. I can’t find my mug!”

“It’s in Lexy’s room, right there on the floor.
There!” I point. “Down by the door!”
As Lex guzzles formula with great appetite,
Sadly, I wonder could Tony be right?

“What’s all this mess?” I hear Tony’s voice boom.
“Why are there flowers all over this room?
I’ve never seen rose petals quite so red.
Did you just rob a florist? Are you sick in the head?”

I sigh in relief. I’m not going mad.
She really was here. I truly am glad!
He enters the kitchen and continues to call:
“And why have you switched the jug off at the wall?”

I reply, “It was boiling a minute ago.
I didn’t go near it. I swear this is so.”
He snaps, “Well, it didn’t switch off by itself!
I suppose we’ve been tricked by a goblin or elf!

“Next, you’ll claim Lexy is Merlin reborn;
That you’re Morgan Le Faye on this bright, autumn morn!
Snap out of it, chook, or soon you’ll see,
They’ll lock you up and throw away the key.”

Then, Mona appears in a flash of white light.
She points to her son and commands, “Don’t you fight!”
Tony is rendered completely aphasic.
He gapes like a fish. It is truly amazing!

I smile as I cuddle my Buddha-like son.
“Alexander, how does it feel to be one?
At least it’s never boring. That’s guaranteed
As long as we’re blessed by our Guardians Three!”

Sadly, three more family members have gone to Heaven since this poem was written, including my soulmate - my beautiful, wonderful Father. Love you, miss you, thank you.

Dear Employee 6734 - (INSERT NAME)

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-19 - 18:00:17

My husband's long-service notification email began with these words.

Laughingly I asked if it was anything like 'Hostile 17' - Buffyverse-speak for Spike the Vampire in Series 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

He replied, "No, but if they keep poking and prodding at me like they did today, I'll be more hostile than 17 ever was!"

What a brave new world we live in.

Dehumanised, pressured to toe the line, reduced to bar codes (just like with the xenomorphic behaviour-modication, subdermal governor microchip inserted in poor Spike's neck).

Sheesh, I was a science geek before they even had a word for it!

Buffy the Time Lady?

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-19 - 15:07:47

For some flipping good, butt-kicking, pistol-packing action, check out the Doctor's Daughter. Haven't even had Voyage of the Damned here in Australia yet, but couldn't resist peeking at the spoilers.

Mr BBC, there are Doctor Who fans in Australia too!!

Mmm ... I feel another blog coming on.

jennygun
flipping
jennydoctor2

Georgia Moffett who plays Jenny is the real-life daughter of Fifth Doctor Peter Davison and Sandra Dickinson (Trillian in the TV adaptation of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).

Impressive gene pool, you can see where she gets her good looks.
dr_who_peter_davidson_470x314_41021411_hitchhikers_203mice

Credit for images to doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - The Doctor's Daughter, Series 4
Credit for Peter Davison and Sandra Dickinson images to http://news.bbc.co.uk/

Another Doctor Who Quote from My Favourite Episode, The Girl in the Fireplace

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-19 - 12:58:38

GITFPdoctormirrorGITFPreinettewowGITFPkingoffranceGITFPLordofTime2

King Louis: What the hell is going on?
Reinette Poisson: Oh. This is my lover, the King of France.
The Doctor: Yeah? Well I'm the Lord of Time.

Credit for images to doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - The Girl in the Fireplace, Series 2
Credit for quotes to Addicted to Doctor Who Facebook Group

Reinette 58's version - Doctor Who Haiku

King of France? Big deal
My screwdriver is bigger
Lord of Time - beat that

Bananas are good
Come away with me, Reinette
Back soon, hold that thought

Girl in Fireplace calls
- Spatio-temporal hyperlink -
Through the magic door

Haiku is Japanese short poetic form of 17 syllables - 1st line 5 syllables, 2nd line 7 syllables, 3rd line 5 syllables.

Ok, ok, 'spatio-temporal hyperlink' a bit cheaty. 'Spay-show temp'ral' - poetic licence.

The 'screwdriver' bit was inspired by the Master's line at the end of Series 3 - 'Laser, who'd have sonic!!". David Tennant actually texted Executive Producer Russell T Davies on the morning of the shoot with the words 'his screwdriver is bigger than mine,' so if it's too rude, blame it on the lovely DT!!

Something for some1else's Birthday Tomorrow - Know How Much You LOVE the Math .

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-19 - 12:26:06

42marthariley

Riley: Name the next number in this sequence; 313 331 367... What?
Martha: You said the crew knew all the answers.
Riley: The crew's changed since we set the questions!
Martha: You're joking!!
Doctor: It's 379.
Martha: What?
Doctor: It's a sequence of happy prime, 379.
Martha: Happy what?
Doctor: Just enter it.
Riley: Are you sure? We only get one chance.
Doctor: Any number that reduces to 1 when you take the sum of the square of its digits and continually reiterate until it yields 1 is a happy number. Any number that doesn't, isn't. A happy prime is a number that's both happy and prime - now type it in!! I don't know, talk about dumbing down. Don't they teach recreational mathematics anymore?

doctormaths

Credit for images to doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - 42, Series 3
Credit for quotes to Addicted to Doctor Who Facebook Group

Typical Hyperactive, Obsessive-Compulsive, Control-Freak Aries - Just Like Me.

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-19 - 11:46:52

rt9

Text reads:

LOOKING THE PART.
"David normally wears glasses," says costume designer Louise Page, "but these ones are plain lenses, not prescription - he has his contact lenses in. He showed the glasses in The Christmas Invasion, which I didn't know he was going to do. We were saving them for episode one when suddenly he put them on to read a joke from a cracker.

"The suit has four buttons down the front, which is quite unusual. And in every episode he changes his button arrangement. Sometimes he'll have the top button done up, sometimes two, sometimes three. Sometimes he won't do any buttons up. Apparently he consults with the crew at the beginning of each episode about how many buttons he's going to do up!"

Credit to http://doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk - Article Scans

Bit Happier. Let's "Hang Out" with Rose and the Lovely Captain Jack Harkness.

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-19 - 11:17:26

jackspaceshiproseroperosebeam

Captain Jack Harkness: [Rose falls from the barrage balloon rope but is caught by a beam of light. Captain Jack speaks to her via loudspeaker] I'm just programming your descent pattern. Stay still as you can and keep your hands and feet inside the light field.
Rose Tyler: Descent pattern?
Captain Jack Harkness: [via loudspeaker] Oh, and could you switch off your cell-phone?
[Rose starts to complain]
Captain Jack Harkness: No, seriously, it interferes with my instruments.
Rose Tyler: You know, no one ever believes that.
[switches phone off]
Captain Jack Harkness: [via loudspeaker] Thank you, that's much better.
Rose Tyler: Oh yeah, that's a real load off, that is! I'm hanging in the sky in the middle of a German air raid with a Union Jack across my chest but, hey, my mobile phone's off!

Captain Jack Harkness: So... when you say 'your companion', how disappointed should I be?
Rose Tyler: OK. We're standing in mid-air on a space-ship during a German air-raid. Do you really think now's a good time to be coming on to me?
Captain Jack Harkness: Perhaps not.
Rose Tyler: It was just a suggestion.

Captain Jack Harkness:
So, this companion of yours. Does he handle the business?
Rose Tyler: Well... I delegate a lot of that, yeah.
Captain Jack Harkness: Well, maybe we should go find him.
Rose Tyler: And how you gonna do that?
Captain Jack Harkness: Easy. I'll just scan for alien tech.
Rose Tyler: Finally, a professional!

Captain Jack: On my signal, head for the door. NOW!
[points a banana at the child like a gun]
Child: Mummy!
The Doctor: [points actual gun at wall and creates door] Go now! And don't drop the banana!
Captain Jack: Why not?
The Doctor: It's a good source of potassium!
Captain Jack: [grabs the gun back] Gimme that!

rosejackjpg

Credit to ninthdoctor.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - The Empty Child - Series 2
Credit for quotes to Addicted to Doctor Who Facebook Group

Day Off. Need Cheering Up After Some Bad News - Let's Have a Doctor Who Quote-a-Thon!!

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-19 - 10:55:26

rhinogunsjpg

“Have you seen? There are these things! I mean space rhino things! Rhinos from space! And we're on the moon! Great big rhino things with guns on the moon! I only came in for my bunions, look! All fixed now, perfectly good treatment, the nurses were lovely. I said to my wife, I said, 'I'd recommend this place to anyone', But then we end up on the moon! And did I mention the rhinos!!”

Credit to doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - Smith and Jones - Series 3
Credit for quotes to Addicted to Doctor Who Facebook Group

Scaramouch, Scaramouch will you do the fandango - THUNDER BOLT AND LIGHTNING - VERY VERY FRIGHTNING ME!!

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-17 - 23:40:58

borap

Blustery lightning bolts earlier today. Windy old world, faded to grey ...

My family is German-Hungarian, most likely from Bohemia – way, way back. Might explain the connection I feel to the song, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen, my all-time favourite.

In modern usage, the term "bohemian" can describe any person who lives an unconventional artistic life, where self-expression is their highest value; art (acting, poetry, writing, singing, dancing, painting, etc) is a serious, if not central, part of their life.

Yep, writing is my passion - an unconventional literary gypsy pretty much sums me up.

Mum and Dad escaped over the border just before the Hungarian revolution and migrated to Australia. As often happens with ethnic groups, I was born here, but didn’t learn to speak English till I went to school.

Hungarian is my first language. Histrionics is in the blood.

They almost didn’t make it, but for divine intervention – the wind ...

Abandoning their family, friends and belongings, they locked the door to their tiny unit, never to return. Crawled on their hands and knees for hours under fences to escape the border guards. Dad was an athlete, so he was able to leap the high barriers and pull Mum to safety. Tin cans were strung along the periphery. The slightest movement would have alerted the guards and they would have been shot to death.

Luck was on their side that night and the fierce wind caused the cans to clank noisily, providing camouflage against their pursuers. After a hellish night, they reached a refugee camp in Italy where they remained for a year before legally migrating to Australia, where they remained ever since. They never went back to Europe, not even for a holiday. Sadly Dad passed away a few years ago.

Love you, miss you, thank you. Mum nurses a broken heart, her childhood sweetheart gone.

Was overjoyed to receive an email from some long-lost relatives in Romania last week. Loving the European connection!

Greatly saddened to hear a much-loved cousin is still in a nine-year coma after a brain haemorrhage. Attractive, bubbly, intelligent, wonderful mother. Professor of English Literature, spoke five languages - just gearing up to move to Australia.

Why does shit happen to good people?

My sleeping beauty, life as you know it is over.

I treasure the old black and white photos she sent me decades ago. We never met, but were childhood pen pals. I feel I knew her so well. Thankfully, I am now in touch again with her brother, sister-in-law and third cousins.

Life goes on …

… had a Transylvanian uncle too - but he wasn’t a blood relative!!

Awful pun (but it’s true!!).

Overcompensating.

Getting misty - need to bawl my heart out.

Anyway the wind blows (sound of gentle gong) ...


Credit for image and lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody video from album 'Queen - A Night at the Opera' 1975.

Yay, Rostered Day Off Monday!! Any Excuse for a Doctor Who Quote.

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-17 - 18:22:45

DW20052x01NewEarth00400DW20052x01NewEarth00403DW20052x01NewEarth00406DW20052x01NewEarth00420DW20052x01NewEarth00421

Yep, still got it!!

Credit for images to doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - New Earth, Series 2
Credit for quotes to Addicted to Doctor Who Facebook Group

Favourite Doctor Who Quote of the Week

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-16 - 21:28:35

LionKingSpeech

From the day they arrived on the planet, blinking, stepping into the sun, there is more to see that can ever be seen, more to do ... oh wait ...

LionKingSpeech2

... that's the Lion King!

Credit for images to doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - The Christmas Invasion, Series 2
Credit for quotes to Addicted to Doctor Who Facebook Group

Where's a TARDIS when you need one?

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-15 - 22:23:30

Son’s birthday today. Twelve. Typical Taurus, stubborn as. A friend from work’s son turned 12 yesterday too. Also stubborn as. Must be in the psychic blueprint.

Boy has school excursion to Canberra next week. $750 for airfare, coach hire for week, meals included, travel insurance and 3 star accommodation at Canberra Lyneham Motel. Yikes!!! Need to get another part-time job or take out a second mortgage to pay for it all. Only have the one, want to give him the best possible start in life, but this is getting ridiculous. Still be working full-time till I’m 80 at this rate. Can see myself toddling in each day, parking my wheelie-walker alongside my clinic patients.

Trip includes visit to Parliament House, Electoral Education Office, War Memorial, National Zoo and Aquarium, National Art Gallery, Capital Exhibiton Centre, Zone 3 Laserforce, Movies, Australian Institute of Sport, National Museum and Questacon (whatever that might be). Posh private school just added it to the term fees and started direct debiting. Never mind asking if you could afford it or not!!

In my day we never had anything quite so grandiose. A trip to the local pool, a bag of lollies and a pat on the head was the highlight of our year.

And of course, they expected us to buy a whole new wardrobe!! Even sent a list of items to bring. Well a Taurus, an Aries (me) and a Capricorn (husband) on a shopping trip ain’t a pretty sight. Three horned beasts butting heads, squabbling and breathing fire at each other, along with boy’s ‘Oh, but the peer pressure, Mum, I must wear something fashionable’ has quite knocked the wind out of my sails.

Never had anything like it in my day (oh God, I sound like my Mother). Remember long leisurely push-bike rides with the cousins – (out from dawn till dusk without fear of crazed axe-murderers) - chasing cows and newly-hatched, multi-coloured baby chickens on the farm, fishing in the local river lazing and savouring the crisp, fresh air and playing cricket with an old makeshift bat - a fallen branch we’d found lying under a tree.

The days stretched on forever.

Life was simpler then.

Our heads weren’t cluttered with sensory overload, jarring bombardments and technobabble from TV, video games, internet and texting.

Might go to bed now and revisit the simple life.

Magic isn't just spells and potions, it's within us if we take the time to look

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-13 - 21:36:42

Wrote this article on Writer’s Block when invited to typeset/guest-edit a couple of issues of Scope, the Magazine of the Fellowship of Australian Writers (Qld). Published in November 1999 edition.

“That’s awful!” snaps the editor-gremlin perched upon your shoulder. “How many times do I have to tell you, it’s ‘lie’ not ‘lay’? And why so many adjectives? Do you enjoy overwriting?”

A knot of panic grips your throat as you reach for the mouse, delete a phrase, cut and paste for a minute or so, add two, three, four new words …

“Look, you’ve made another spelling mistake!” hisses the demon, gesturing at the screen with its horny, great fingernail, “And what’s this nonsense about ‘slender yellow fruit’? If you mean ‘bananas’, write ‘bananas’. And you’re using passive voice again! Surely you’re not thinking of submitting this garbage to Scope?”

You sigh, make the necessary revisions, and tap out a lively rap medley on the keyboard with your fingertips. Suddenly inspiration strikes! You complete the sentence with a flourish and fix your tormentor with a malevolent glare.

“Cliché! Tautology!! Split infinitive!!!” cackles the gremlin with glee. It blows a raspberry into your ear, and implodes with an audible pop.

Defeated, you delete the paragraph you’ve been mangling for the past two hours, flick the computer off and crash to the bed in a fit of despair.

Then the self-flagellation sets in: “Why can’t I be more like so-and-so? They’ve just sold a sci-fi trilogy and won another competition. Woe is me, my stuff must be terrible. I may as well give up!”

If this sort of negative head-talk sounds familiar, check out fantasy author Lisa R Cohen’s website on www.sff.net/People/LisaRC/myown.htm for an in-depth analysis of writer’s block.

Whether your problem be lack of time, physical or mental fatigue, depression, poor health, money hassles, writing what you feel you should be writing instead of what you want to write, or my own personal demon of perfectionism, you’ll discover writer’s block is a self-propelling mechanism. The more you don’t write, the more you feel you can’t write. The more you feel you can’t write, the more you feel hopeless to try.

So, what’s the cure?

Simple: You write your way out of it.

Give yourself permission to do a lousy first draft. Commit your thoughts to paper – warts, wooden dialogue and all. Be daring, be decadent! Forget homework topics, genre and competition deadlines – write what you want to write. Let your imagination run wild! And remember, no one but you need ever see this draft. You can always go back and polish your work later.

In her article, Cohen interviewed several prolific writers on how they tackled difficult projects and how they avoided the writers’ block doldrums. Their answers contained these common elements:

1 – Don’t obsess on one thing – juggle several projects. If you get stuck on one, move to another.

2 – Commit to finishing everything you start – if you’ve left a project, commit to returning to it.

3 – Change the mode of putting down words – if you’re stuck on the computer, try a dictation machine or writing by hand; or change where you write – go outside, to the park or library.

4 – Get those jolly little endorphins pumping – take a walk, mow the lawn. Physical activity of the slightly mindless kind seems to generate mental activity of the kind that promotes creativity.

Cohen also advocates treating yourself like a recovering athlete. She says writer’s block can be a career-threatening injury, so you don’t want to rush the comeback and risk a relapse. By understanding your problem, you improve your chances of returning to the enthusiastic, dedicated writer you used to be. Writer’s block is not just an obstacle: it’s a sign there’s something that needs fixing.

So rest and recuperate if you must and, when ready, work toward recapturing that love of writing. And while recovering, take solace in the thought that even though you’re temporarily unable to commit words to paper, you probably still are writing – when driving, grocery shopping or weeding the garden. So keep your writer’s notebook handy for when those words start tumbling deliciously from the ether again.

And they will.

Cohen’s article helped me break through a lengthy block precipitated by two deaths in the family, major financial trouble and the loss of a career due to health problems. I’m sure her advice will help you too.

Shortly after this article was written, my world went belly up. More eye and money problems.

Another death. Another eulogy. Deva vu.

We were broke. I had to find full-time work, the words went away. For ten long years … nothing but work-work-work to keep our heads above water – no me-time for writing, it was killing me. Hated being earthbound.

Then a month ago, a chance meeting with a writer friend at a Sci-Fi Expo rebooted the creative process. My husband’s hours changed, so I finally had some time to myself. Blogging anonymously helped shake out the cobwebs and before I knew what hit me, the words were back in a deluge.

Never experienced anything like it in my life.

Buzz, buzz, buzz, my mind never stops racing. Seem to be getting phenomenal amounts of stuff done. Borderline bipolar or just an extremely creative phase?

I’ve written several articles for this website, which I set up a couple of days ago. First and last chapter of a novel done with several random chunks in between. Most atypical genre - medical romance, so quite a challenge.

I’m a very visual person and see technicolour videos when I close my eyes. Characters, scenarios, fully-formed conversations. Story threads totally mapped in my head. The book keeps morphing. Can’t sleep because new ideas pop into my head and I need to get up and jot them down.

Most creative when I blank out my mind and free-associate – cleaning, driving, watching my son play footy - my brain never shuts down. Sorry boy, I am trying to watch, really …

Any new input triggers crazy tangents. Found a Doctor Who Haiku Group of all things on Facebook and wrote several bad haiku in my semi-sleep. Woke every hour or so and jotted them down in my bedside notebook.

So many ideas, up till midnight each night trying to capture it all. May I add I’m a busy, full-time working mum, so it ain’t easy. Who needs sleep anyway?

Told my writer friend I was too much of perfectionist ever to be prolific. Did at least 100 revisions of my first short story and worried commas to death to the point of obsessive-compulsion.

Not any more.

Years ago, my husband said, “Why do you care so much about those silly competitions and what other people think? Write for yourself for the love of it.”

Finally taking his advice.

My writing is different now. Freer, anything goes. Never would’ve dreamt of displaying first drafts on a public website.

Don’t care, it’s my magic creative space - the wilder the better and damn the punctuation.

Switch off the lights, air-con for white noise and I’m in the zone ...

Never be a J K Rowling, but the words are back and my God it feels wonderful.

Something for the Patient Services Newsletter at work? Er, mmm, maybe not. Roll out the straightjacket and book her a padded cell.

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-12 - 21:58:28

tardisdesktoprassilon

FYI, A*** is the appointment scheduling programme we love to hate.

Featured Employee of the Month Question:
If you could invite 6 people to dinner, who would you invite? (living or deceased)

The Tenth Doctor (of course), cute.

Sting for toe-tapping dinner music.

TARDIS gate-crashes Police concert, Festival Hall 1981, mid-Roxanne … Cute back then, both of us.

But wait, I was there! Old me encountering young me would cause a ripple in the time-space continuum, plunging all into a post-apocalyptic world of A*** data entry 24/7!!

Aagh, don’t step on that butterfly!

But back to the list ... Genghis Khan. Sigmund Freud …

Oops, plagiarising Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – mmm, Keanu? Yeah, cute, hop on board.

Nostradamus …

Oh, cheer up, it’s not the end of the world!!!

Marilyn Monroe …

Geez, I can only have six? OK, TARDIS getting squeezy.

Genghis!! Give The Doctor back his sonic screwdriver!

NOOOOO!!! You’ve smashed the flux capacitor!!

And so we swirl chaotically through the vortex to our mystery destination, picking up Jamie Oliver on the way to do the catering.

No phones. No dishes. No A***.

Beats karaoke at Dooleys.
AttackGraske017sonic screwdriver

This popped into my head at my son’s footy game yesterday and I madly scribbled it into my notebook. In the breaks, of course. I was paying attention, honestly. Huh, the ball was going where?? Oh, good, good … proceed. Oh, is it over?

Bad, bad mummy.

Loving Russell T Davies’ revamped Doctor Who with a passion.

Brilliant writer. Fast-paced, quirky, funny with twists and complex story threads that knock your socks off. The Jack/Boe revelation at the end of Series 3 blew me away. God, how clever. Something to aspire to with my own stuff.

Not ashamed to admit I’m a New Whovian - the Doctor Who equivalent of a Trekkie without the pointy ears and dress-ups.

(No offense, my dear schoolmate Mary, President of the local Star Trek Club).

TARDIS image on desktop wallpaper. Current theme whooping on computer boot-up. TARDIS dematerialisation sound on shutdown. And bless, a TARDIS keyring. Helps me get in the zone when I’m on ‘Gallifrey’, my magic creative space.

My son goes, “Oh Mum, there’s more to life than Doctor Who!!”

Geez, am I really that bad?

Just rejoined VISION, the Brisbane-based Group for Writers of Science Fiction, Horror and Fantasy. A closed group, I needed to meet guidelines and apply through a Moderator. Used this website as my CV.

Oh my God, found out tonight I’m in! Just read on their group email that someone had signed a 7-figure movie deal! This amateur is so out of her depth!! But they said they liked my portfolio!!

Quick, a paper bag! I’m hyperventilating ...

As Hamlet said, ‘To thineself be true’. With this VISION news, I’m bound to get even worse with my daydreaming.

Like it or lump it, this is me - ain’t changing for anyone.

Welcome to my world.

Life’s too short to be serious.

Credit for warping TARDIS image to Desktop of Rassilon.
Credit for Tenth Doctor image - doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk - Attack of the Graske

"O wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beautious mankind is! O brave new world, That has such people in't!"

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-11 - 22:46:52

200px-BraveNewWorld_FirstEdition

Glorious words from Shakespeare's 'The Tempest' (Miranda's speech, Act 4, Scene 1), spoken by The Savage in Aldous Huxley's quintessential dystopian novel, Brave New World, my absolute favourite. Set in AD2540 London, it anticipates the development of reproductive technology, biological engineering and sleep-learning that combine to change society.

Hollywood has brought us Spiderman, X-Men, Iron Man, Fantastic Four, Daredevil and Hulk. And in production, Captain America, Wonder Woman and Ant-Man.

Ant-Man? Getting a big desperate, aren't we?

While good escapist fun, isn't it high time they tackled something more cerebral like a big screen remake of Brave New World?

I remember being captivated by the 1980 TV version starring Kristoffer Tabori as John Savage, Keir Dullea as Thomas Grambell and Julie Cobb as Linda Lysenko. Loved the twisted perceptions of behavioural norms and quirky language:

'Bottle of mine, it's you I've always wanted! Bottle of mine, why was I ever decanted? Skies are blue inside of you, The weather's always fine; For There ain't no Bottle in all the world Like that dear little Bottle of mine.'

'Imagine the folly of allowing people to play elaborate games which do nothing whatever to increase consumption. It’s madness. Nowadays the Controllers won’t approve of any new game unless it can be shown that it requires at least as much apparatus as the most complicated of existing games.'

'Christianity without tears— that’s what soma is. A gramme is better than a damn.'

'That is the secret of happiness and virtue - liking what you've got to do. All conditioning aims at that: making people like their inescapable social destiny.'

'I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'

Winced when I read in Wikipedia that they'd done a 'modernised' made-for-TV version in 1990. Loved the Queen soundtrack in the late Heath Ledger's 'A Knight's Tale', but if I hear The Savage burst into song with a jolly rendition of 'I Want to Break Free', I think I'll cry.

And the 2007 anime version? Mind-boggling.

Please, please, PLEASE, don't change it!! It's perfect the way it is. The language and concepts are as fresh and quirky today as when written 75 years ago. Genius is timeless.

Hollywood, are you listening?

Reference and credit for first edition image of book to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brave_New_World

Scribbled this into my notebook at my son's footy game today. In the breaks, of course. I was paying attention, honestly. Sadly, they got flogged.

Mother's Day. Apart from a lovely wall sconce from my favourite candle shop, I was granted two hours of quiet writing time. Ah, bliss ...

Damn, that didn't last long! School assembly tomorrow and boy can't find his hat. Probably in the Time Lord technology that resides under his bed, together with the sum total of everything else he's lost in his life-time. Like the TARDIS, it's bigger on the inside than the outside.

drmirrortardis

(Thought-bubble: Does my bum look big in this??)

Credit for images to doctorwho.time-and-space.co.uk screencaps - The Christmas Invasion, Series 2

A Celestial Sonnet

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-11 - 08:09:15

Beneath the Elfin oak I fantasise
Of eons past before the dawn of man
When visionary fairy folk began
A monument to Luna, old and wise.

By flood of moonbeam - liquid, crystalline -
They danced and offered homage to their queen.
Aloft in velvet cosmos - stark, serene -
The mighty goddess watched them build her shrine.

As stone by stone, the stately megalith grew,
The worshippers rejoiced with wine and food.
By subtle scent of sacred sandalwood
They showered the sight with blooms of rainbow hue.

Today, their tribute stands so proud, erect -
Stonehenge, designed by eerie architect.

Written in 1997 in response to a writers' challenge on 'fantasy'.

Iambic pentameter, woo-hoo!! Just a quick post this morning and it's off to my son's footy game. Damn, my husband needs the modem for work again ... hard to type quickly with a scaly-breasted lorikeet sitting on your hand!!

When World Views Collide - An Evening with Lois McMaster Bujold

by Reinette58 @ 2008-05-10 - 20:45:50

barrayar

Back in my VISION days, I had the honour of interviewing multiple award-winning fantasy author Lois McMaster Bujold.

VISION is a Brisbane-based group for writers of Science Fiction, Horror and Fantasy and was founded by children’s author and fantasy writer, Rowena Cory Daniells. Check it out at www.visionwriters.org

Aspiring overseas writers are most welcome to join the VISION e-list at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/vision-writers/

This article, my first, was a surprise challenge and was published in the VISION Newsletter in April 1998.

‘Hi, this is Rowena. Lois McMaster Bujold will be in Brisbane next Thursday night and we’re trying to organize a get-together for her at Adrianne’s place. She writes space opera. Please let me know as soon as possible if you can come …’

The message on the answering machine sounded intriguing. I returned our illustrious leader’s call and accepted without hesitation, but was ashamed to admit I’d never heard of the woman, let alone read any of her books. Then again, I hadn’t read much of anything lately. I’d cold-turkeyed off my five-novel-per-week habit several years ago, thanks to eye problems and the demands of motherhood.

As a fledgling fantasy writer, I knew I was woefully out of touch. Still, what better way to remedy the situation than to meet a genuine author? I was eager to learn more about her, so I did some research. Here’s what I discovered.

Lois McMaster Bujold was born in 1949 and attended Ohio State University, but didn’t graduate. She describes her education as reading 5 books per week for 10 years (now, that sounded vaguely familiar), reading enormous amounts of science fiction as a teenager, and listening to her father, an engineer. She is divorced, with a son and a daughter.

She started writing in 1982 and sold her first story to Twilight Zone in 1985. Baen bought her first three books, publishing them in 1986. Her central character, Miles Vorkosigan, is a puny aristocrat who prefers to use wit rather than military might when it comes to solving problems.

Bujold won Hugo Awards for her novels, The Vor Game, Barrayar, Mirror Dance and Mountains of Mourning; and six of her books (including Brothers in Arms and Labyrinth) are on Locus’ recommended reading list. She also won Locus Awards for Barrayar and Mirror Dance. In addition to winning Nebula Awards for Falling Free and Mountains of Mourning, she was also nominated for the John W Campbell Award in 1987.

Awesome! It promised to be a most interesting meeting indeed.

A week later, I arrived at Adrianne’s home and knocked on her door. It was a cold, miserable April evening and the rain was beating a listless tattoo on the roof of her carport.

‘Am I early?’ I called cheerily, trying not to trip over her cat. The digital clock in my car was 6 hours 20 minutes slow. No-one seemed to know how to fix it. I prayed my mental arithmetic was correct.

‘A little,’ Adrianne replied. ‘But that’s okay. Come on in. We’re just finishing dinner.’

Unlocking the screen door, she ushered me in, sat me down at the dinner table and offered me cheesecake. I hunched over in my chair in an attempt to present the smallest possible target to the world. After a brief lull, the dinner conversation continued.

‘Don’t you just love American conventions?’ asked a vivacious woman with short, brown hair. ‘They schedule about twelve really interesting events simultaneously and you wish you could see them all. There’s so much to do …’

As inconspicuously as possible, I began to inch my chair toward the living room. I’d almost escaped when a young man (later identified as Ron from Pulp Fiction) said, ‘Don’t be shy. Come, sit closer.’ I smiled weakly and obeyed.

Five minutes later, Chris and Sally arrived and, with much clinking of plates and cutlery, we adjourned to the living room before I could embarrass myself any further. Selecting a comfy chair between Sally and the vivacious, brown-haired woman, I sipped my coffee and whined to them about the weather. The woman turned to me and smiled.

‘Cold? You gotta be kidding. Back in Minnesota, we used to drive on the lakes. They were frozen at the time, of course.’

Suddenly, realization dawned. I was talking to Lois McMaster Bujold! For someone so successfully, she seemed remarkably friendly and down-to-earth.

By 7.30pm, twenty-one V.I.S.I.O.N members, two visiting SF fans, three of Adrianne’s students and a large, fluffy feline had assembled to welcome our guest of honour to Australia. Bujold put us all at ease by asking us to introduce ourselves and give a brief outline of our writing interests before launching into an informal Q & A session. The questions came thick and fast. I whipped out my notebook and jotted down some of Bujold’s pearls of wisdom …

Bad news comes by mail – good news with a phone call.

When you finish one book, move onto the next ASAP.

Contracts aren’t permanent. You can always fix your mistakes next time round.

Never write back to a reviewer. It’s unprofessional.

Writer’s block is your friend. Your back-brain is telling you you’re going in the wrong direction.

After about an hour, we paused for refreshment and mingled. I nearly choked on my coffee when both Adrianne and Rowena approached me to do this article on Bujold for the V.I.S.I.O.N Newsletter. They’d seen me taking notes. I agreed (with a certain amount of trepidation) and returned to my scribbling with renewed zeal for I was now a roving reporter.

Midway through the proceedings, Bujold delivered an eloquent speech (‘When World Views Collide’) that explored the way people really read.

‘Each time someone reads a book, two world views collide. For example, if a cynical, angry reader reads a cynical, angry book, he will feel comfortable … No two people reading the same text will experience it in the same way or at two different points in their lives. When you were twelve, it was impossible to read something that didn’t expand the mind … Reading is very subjective. People read books for different reasons. Some people need to get away from life … Writers become spoiled readers. They start proofreading everything … They look at transitions and are conscious of structure and weak dialogue … Theme is what a book is really about.’

After the speech, Bujold fielded another barrage of questions with her usual warmth and wit.

Who are your favourite authors?
‘Terry Pratchett. I’d pay to see him any day. Also Heinlein, Tolkien, Asimov, Cord Wainer-Smith, Dorothy Sayers, Arthur Conan Doyle and Poul Anderson. I actually went to dinner with him once.’

Do you have an agent?
‘Yes, Eleanor Wood. She was Heinlein’s agent.’

How much to you write each day?
‘Hard to say. My professional production schedule is two chapters per month. Normally I try to write about 1500 words per day – 500 if I’m working through a sticky bit. I write in ‘chunks’ or sections and amass notes for several months before starting a novel.’

How accurate does the scientific information have to be?
‘If used in the foreground, it has to be correct science. If it’s not central to the story, you have to make sure it’s not noticeably wrong. I try to keep up to date with modern technology by reading Scientific American. It also helps having a background in biology and being able to draw on my Dad’s experience as an engineer. I used to work as a drug administration technician in a hospital. Elizabeth Moon was an emergency medical technician and she appreciates the fact that I do my medicine right. Still, you get the occasional problem. An exercise physiologist contacted me and complained about my use of the phrase, ‘lactic acid buildup’. She said the term was obsolete.’

What about co-writing?
‘There are as many different techniques as there are writers. There’s no right or wrong way.’

Have the Baen people approached you about franchising?

‘Yes, after my first Hugo Award. But no, I wouldn’t like to do it. It’s too opposite to the way I work. I like to have the power to make my own settings.’

When writing the seventh or eighth book in a series, how do you bring readers up to speed?
‘I must admit it’s getting more difficult. The problem is how to get in enough back-story. You can either tell it from a different viewpoint or get a different character to tell it with a different attitude. For example, you could have a couple of characters talking about something that happened previously and flip the viewpoints around. In doing this, each book enriches the other and eventually, the whole series begins to cross-fertilise.’

Do you have to re-read so you don’t forget things?
‘Yes.’

Have you thought of writing a prequel?

‘Actually, I’ve written two. With prequels, the ending is constrained. That makes them harder to write. You can overcome this problem by setting the story in a place you’ve never been before. Or, you can use new characters. No-one knows if they’re going to live or die.’

What are your favourite novels?
‘Out of the ones I’ve written?’

Yes
‘’Mirror Dance’ and ‘Memory’.’

Do you have anything you wish had never been printed?
‘No. I just think to myself, ‘that’s th